It is easy to forget that our ‘normal’ is not so normal. Feedback from those seeing us with fresh eyes is therefore particularly useful.
Once or twice a term, we have Introductory Days in the Junior and Senior Schools, which are designed as a first introduction to Queenwood for prospective parents. The questions and points of interest naturally vary, but two observations arise with particular frequency.
Firstly, visitors often comment on how calm and welcoming the school seems. This is due to many things: the fact that we don’t use a school bell; the skill of our teachers in combining a steady buzz of energy with a sense of order and purpose in the classroom; the quality of the facilities; the beautiful, natural surroundings; the obvious freedom and trust which is granted to the girls as they move independently around the school (and surrounding streets); the class sizes; the friendly spaces in the libraries and common rooms and creative areas like the drama studio, art rooms and so on.
Children and adolescents need their moments of noise and exuberance and celebration, too, and there are plenty of moments in the day or the week when these are given full rein. The underlying rhythm of a school should, however, be predictable – both for the girls’ wellbeing and to create an atmosphere conducive to learning. I am always very pleased that our visitors see this so clearly and understand how it underpins serious learning.
They also comment – somewhat wonderingly – on the lack of mobiles amongst the girls. We encourage parents to avoid giving their Junior School daughters phones at all, and if they are needed, to use a cheap ‘dumb phone’ which will satisfy all safety needs. Most of our Senior School girls do have their smartphones, but our rule is that they must be ‘invisible and inaudible’. If spotted (or heard!), they are quickly confiscated – but in fact this happens rarely because the girls understand the rules clearly.
If they are invisible, you might wonder what visitors can actually see to comment on. What they see is girls talking to each other. They see girls making eye contact with each other and interacting face to face in the playground. I have seen the alternative: groups of children huddled over the phones, oblivious to those around them; teenagers sitting side by side, literally texting the person next to them in place of talking to her. Placing strict limits on mobile phones may seem blindingly obvious to us, but several schools have recently introduced policies similar to ours (or sometimes less strict) and have made newspaper headlines in doing so! So perhaps we should be more appreciative of our ‘normal’.
Another source of fresh eyes is our exchange students. Again, two responses are particularly common. They are often envious of the quality of relationship between teachers and students. In many countries and systems, the teacher’s role is far more limited: they deliver the knowledge and teaching, and then they walk out of the classroom. Visiting exchange students tell me that it is obvious how much our teachers care – about their students’ learning and about their students as people. This makes school an entirely different experience. One of our recent exchange students spoke to me movingly about how much she wished she could stay at Queenwood.
Interestingly, our exchange students generally love the uniforms. Their first response to donning a uniform is typically amusement – but with no desire to take the practice home. After a few weeks, however, they realise the freedom that comes with it. There is no decision to make about what to wear. There is no question of it defining social status or popularity. There is, simply, no judgement.
Teenage years are fraught with self-consciousness and have enough social difficulties to navigate. Some school uniforms are ugly, some are impractical, some are unflattering – but they all offer a blessed freedom from judgment.
Long may this be normal at Queenwood.
Ms Elizabeth Stone
Principal